Brain-fried

Oh.... Oh..... My head! These house plans are going to drive me over the edge. I am utterly out of my depth, I'm afraid. There's just so much to figure out, and it seems that every time I come to a point were I have to make a determination about something, I find that I can't make that one until three more are made, so I go to make those, but each requires another three. For years my brother has told me that he would help me. He's a building inspector and he knows all this stuff about live loads and dead loads and degrees of deflection. But, now that I'm finally here, committed, do-or-die, needing the help, he's off in the middle of a messy and bitter divorce and is simply, as of the moment, unable to do much of anything. I feel very adrift. I spoke to a man today about floor joists and he wanted information to determine the size of the joists that I don't know how to figure. Rodney wanted to know, this evening, what was wrong, why I was so tense and short with the kids, and I tried to tell him, but he just told me not to stress and just take it one step at a time. But that's the problem I'm having right now. I can't take the house one piece at a time-- I have to think of everything, every piece of rebar, every doorknob, every inch of wire and pipe, every sheet of plywood, every yard of concrete. I have to think through every single step, every possible conflict, every potential problem, and I have to hold it all in my head at once while trying to find out how to do most of it. I am completely crazy. What was I thinking? I don't know if I can do this. But.... I will do this, because there isn't another option. Here's my opportunity to learn how to be a "details person". Blah.